Category Archives: Spiritism

No Country for Old Women

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I have always been, and seems I will always be the odd woman out. The extremely square peg. The redheaded stepchild. Finally, I can at least say I’m starting to get used to it.

I have always wanted to find the place where I could be my complete and whole self in public.

There’s no such place. Utopia, right? Some of us get that joke. Utopia is a word that originally meant “nowhere,” because it doesn’t exist, and never will.

I can be me here. I can’t call it a community, but I can absolutely say this is me. Complete and whole. Don’t like it? That’s fine. I don’t like everyone on earth either. Just don’t expect me to care, okay? Move along. It’s what I do, what polite adults do. It’s all I ask.

It took a long time, but I found the absolutely perfect Etsy coach for me, who came with a beautiful community of incredibly creative people from Etsy. Not a group of let’s make another “Mama Shirt” creators. She understood paganism, at least to an extent, and I felt appreciated and that I could fit in there but…

I use Generative AI. They hate Generative AI. So much for that community. Odd woman out. Again.

Obviously, I’m the problem. I’m the reason the evil data centers are needed and being thrust upon the public where they’re not wanted or needed. Also, I’m STEALING FROM ARTISTS. Right.

Fine. Let’s just go there.

First, I’m not the ONE creating a need for data centers. You could take ALL the generative art designers in the US, and together we wouldn’t be the cause. Generative AI has been used in art for at least 4 years now, and LLMs for longer. We were fine with the data storage we had. That’s not the problem.

You’re looking for someone human who you can attack and will react to you for you to vent on. A convenient scapegoat. The truth is a lot more complicated but, hey, maybe those FLOCK CAMERAS might have to do with it? Maybe all the data that the Federal Government is HOARDING about every American Citizen would have something to do with it? And come to it, I’m sure that all those Fortune 500 companies tracking our every move online (Meta, anyone?) have something to do with it?

But sure, blame me.

For this first count, let me now tell you what I’m incredibly proud of. I now have Local AI. LOCAL. As in, it’s completely housed on my own computer. NO DATA CENTER USE AT ALL. So, to be as mature and adult as I can be about this, shut up. That complaint is completely invalid.

Now, as far as stealing from artists, I’m about to offend every artist on the internet. I know I am. But this is the absolute truth. There is not a single artist who has had their art stolen who has any art I would ever use in my products. There’s a world of reasons for that. Some of it is just rank amateur in my eyes. Some of it is a style choice, I don’t want to work with anything “cutesy,” or “Chibi,” or “Manga” or “Comic Book” looking. Not one spirit has expressed any interest in being depicted in those ways. Sorry, not sorry. They are, quite literally, my bosses.

Even in a situation where I might truly appreciate an artist’s style, what are the odds I will see the Spirit the same way? How many artists do you know who like to be instructed in every facet of a piece of art? Hair color, ethnicity, pose, facial expression, clothing choice, background…I am, again because of my bosses, VERY particular. Finding a piece of art online that I can just use as is? It’s really, really fucking hard. I’ve tried.

Here’s Anput. She was generated off of Anubis believe it or not. On the back of the journal, you can see the other items I generated. Even her buddy there on the cover was generated by me. All individually, then pieced together as a collage.

I’ve found a few, and I’ve used them. But when I started to stretch into the lesser-known entities, like Qebhet, for example, it wasn’t even a question of finding something I agreed with. I couldn’t find anything. Hell, I couldn’t even find a complete set of Canopic Jars and I felt those were EXTREMELY important for Anput’s images. It had to be right. That took me quite literally about 18 iterations to get that piece of art which is just one component in the overall piece.

Three different pieces made up this card back. One of them I bought, 2 I generated.

ALSO, if you were an artist, and you could put your art on a t-shirt yourself, why would you sell your art cheaper to someone else for them to do it? Its far more supportive of human artists to want them to make everything they can off of their art. I would gladly help anyone who wanted to go POD with their art, honestly. I want them to get out there and make a living off of it, and I find too many artists don’t have the business sense to do it.

I’m going long again, but just figure that I don’t write often, I write long 🤣

Here’s what my moral law is as far as art goes. I stick to the dead. I do not work with any art style that is recent. I personally like the 75 year standard used for copyrights and so on. The average age. Older types of art as well as art styles that were used for marketing or in such large quantities by so many people giving lots and lots of possible combinations, but most of the art I work with is, well Ancient Egyptian. Ancient Greek. Merovingian. Medieval Christian. Renaissance. The newest I think i have ever touched would be the Art Deco/Art Nouveau/Art Informel, etc., the heyday of which is about 100 years. I also NEVER USE AN ARTIST’S NAME. Never. I stick with styles, schools, movements, ages. That’s it.

Let’s face it, for the Entities I’m working with, the ancient forms of art work better anyway. Anubis looked better in Egypt, although I have to say I ran some patterns with Hekate in Egypt, and they were fire. We’ll see…Merovingian has given me some interesting results as well.

There’s a lot of fun to be had by combining styles and adding in different art terms. Throwing the term “dark” onto anything, or “gothic,” can change an entire look. Gives me that creativity that everyone assumes is missing from AI. Come on, Goth Nouveau? SO BANGING! Esoteric and Occult change the entire vibe of a piece. Goth Esoteric Les Fauves Art…would make a human artist’s head spin, but the AI keeps up with me and my vision.

I don’t just generate a piece and throw it on a product, either. When I started this adventure, I was using the Etsy guidelines; if it wasn’t your own art, it had to have at least two to three other pieces in it to make it your own. I started collaging. And I still do. That canopic jar? That was only one piece of about five I created or found for that Anput image. With the patterns I generate, I can put them on all sorts of different products and reuse the heck outta them so that the generation is anything but wasted. Not just that, either. I pull those apart and use as clip art in other pieces.

My current favorite Dionysus image, pilfered from my own pattern.

I am very frugal in all ways! 😊

The truth is, I’m a writer not a physical artist. Words are what I’m stronger with, and this is a format that is made for me. The better you can describe, the better the art. I can actually bring what I see to life and share it with you. I’m sorry, but to me that is art, although there are far too many people out there who have way too much hate for me for it. That’s my life.

I do not use the “art” word in public much. Too many people are biased against me to begin with. I will say designer, the ultimate compromise, much like I would say I was a “crafter” in my jewelry-making days. People hated me for that, too. I didn’t do anything but string beads, I wasn’t an artist…yeah, I’ve heard all this bullshit before.

If I wasn’t slowly losing my hands, I’d probably still be doing the jewelry. I had plans…I was going to do a LOT of crafting for my shop. If I can get a dx and the proper treatment, maybe I can still get some of it done. Currently, I have a melted knuckle, and other digits that feel like they’re going in the same direction. Its either RA or Sjogren’s, and I have way more markers for Sjogren’s, so that’s a little scary. It takes on average about 6 years for an actual diagnosis with that one; I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t mind the osteoarthritis, in my family that’s predictable. I’ve known I had the swan’s neck deformation when I was in my thirties.

This is different.

But I can still create and whether you like it or not, that’s what I’m doing.

At the end, I realize that I will lose potential business because of my decisions. I am alright with that. My Gods and Spirits are happy with me, and I know I will be cared for by them. At the end of the day, it’s Their approval that matters. Yours would be a bonus.

Not All Women

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Granted, the hashtag “not all men” is one of the most annoying hashtags ever to be seen on social media, so assume that the title of this piece is tongue-in-cheek. True, yes, but still tongue-in-cheek.

I’m not sure if it’s just because I am SO tired of the patriarchy and fighting it body and soul, or if it’s really because I am just that god-bothered, but I’ve come to the realization that there are reasons the Deities who are nudging me are, well, bothered. A lot. To put it in modern human terms, it would seem they have PR problems.

I realized that first, when Hera came knocking. Hard. Loud. Frequently. One thing I can tell you is that this particular Spirit is persistent. And I owed her (long story) so I’m pretty sure she was calling in the favor, so to speak.

My Hera journal from the Etsy store. A new depiction of Her is coming soon!

Hera in ALL Her glory

Seeing as how She is very loud, even my somewhat dense senses picked up Her displeasure with how She’s viewed by the world. Some sort of jealous stay-at-home wife who does nothing but try to thwart the offspring of her philandering husband. Um…

There’s just so much more to Her. (Sarcasm warning) Thanks, patriarchy.

Hercules? The name means “glory of Hera.” IF she was trying actively to kill him, which is still a possibility, there was a much different reason for it than we most commonly believe. I’m getting some messages on it, but none of them are really clear. Maybe we’ll know more definitively someday.

Goddesses, many of them at any rate, have been transformed over the centuries into “mother goddesses” even when their actual character is anything but motherly. Sure, they had children. Many times, they were incredibly fabulous mothers, but they’re not mother goddesses. It’s just sort of attached to them because, well, thank you patriarchy. (More sarcasm) After all, ALL WOMEN ARE TO BE MOTHERS.

F*ck that sh*t.

Could we just get off this merry-go-round? This insane obsession with the sex act and fertility. When will women be allowed to be something else with our lives? It isn’t just in the patriarchy at large, either. It’s been seeping into modern “paganism” since, well, the beginning of it, whenever the hell that was. That’s a whole other discussion.

Don’t get me wrong. Sex can be amazing. I’m just so damned tired of seeing it everywhere when there’s so much more to life, so much more to my life. I don’t really care about your sex life, or anyone’s for that matter. This culture is just obsessed with it and I’m losing what’s precious little is left of my sanity.

Not every woman, not every Goddess, falls neatly into one of the three designated and acceptable categories of “Maiden, Mother, Crone.” I’ve seen it written, for instance, that Hekate was once known as sister as one of Her three faces. I can’t remember the source on it, but it certainly made me think. If I come across it again, I’ll definitely link it here. I don’t remember the other two, unfortunately. Hey, I’m 56 and survived a lot of Grateful Dead concerts. My memory isn’t what it used to be…😵‍💫

My Hex the Patriarchy shirt starring Hekate at High Spirits Divine

We humans aren’t the only ones completely fed up with the patriarchy. A lot of our Deities and Spirits are as well. If you’re in touch with any, and you’re as fed up as I am, ask them to join you in our fight. I’m pretty sure that’s all most of them are waiting for.

There’s a couple, naturally, who are taking advantage of the patriarchy for their own reasons, and a few who would love to if they could find a way in. Let’s face it, Yahweh has got most of that action. But remember, there were traditions among many non-Christian groups upon-a-time to bribe the Gods of another group. Offering them to treat them better, give them bigger temples, better offerings, etc., in order to turn them against their original people. That’s definitely an angle to look at for some of the more belligerent Spirits.

Don’t forget your Ancestors, either. So many women, and men, fought damn hard to get us as far as we are in this world. So many humans fought against slavery, dehumanization, greed, war, prejudice, ignorance…in essence, whether they put the name to it or not, they fought the patriarchy long before we were even dreams in our parents’ heads. Believe me, I’ve got some angry ones.

Never Again Shirt on High Spirits Divine

Created to remember my own Ancestors, and many Others

If you’re a person who works with Spirits don’t forget the well-known ones; those who are remembered for the fights they lost and won. Maybe they’re not your Ancestors, but they have a vested interest in fighting this same patriarchy. Many of them are simply waiting to be asked.

This is, after all, our world. Our plane of existence. We have dominion here (another interpretation of that much-abused phrase). They need to be brought in, like a tagged wrestler, in order to join us in this battle. We need to bring in as many of them as we can. All hands-on deck, so to speak. Is that enough metaphors in one paragraph? I could squeeze in another one if I tried. 😁

This message is of course for those of us who Work with Spirits and/or Deities. If you don’t, if you’re an atheist witch or maybe an agnostic witch, just keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not about to tell anyone who or what to do with their magickal practices any more than I’d tell someone who, what, or how to worship. Freedom of religion, dammit, many of my Ancestors came to the US for that very reason, and I’ll defend it to my death. So will They.

I’m going to try really hard to get the next blog done faster! I have some very important new art to share with you all, and new designs coming!

~*~Camylleon~*~ 

It’s Wonderful

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Nothing’s Written in Stone

One of my favorite benefits to not following a written doctrine is that I get to “rewrite” my beliefs to my heart’s content. No one tells me what to believe, nothing at all is written in stone. I can bend, flex, shrug things off, and turn completely around as much as I like. I don’t normally do the complete 180 degrees, but I often go off at right angles.

My most complicated question for myself is what do I call myself. Not many people care, I think, and I don’t know why I do. Christians have it pretty easy with this. The denomination of the church you attend has a name, the church has a name. There are neat and tidy labels for everything.

With my just a “touch” of OCD, I do love labels. Too much. I guess in some way I crave them. I imagine the other factor in that it is damn hard to find a community if you don’t have a label. In order to agree on something, it’s sort of necessary to define it.

Granted, everyone seems to be okay with the myriad of terms that we all grab at to use daily. Pagan, neo-pagan, Wiccan, witch are all sort of used interchangeably. I wonder frequently if the people using these terms actually understand them. I mean, I knew a couple who proudly claimed to be “Wiccan” but had never heard of Aradia, which I would have considered mandatory reading upon a time. I guess I’m old! 😁

The long form of what I call myself, to those who actually ask, is “hard-polytheistic, poly-pantheonic Spiritist.” Even then I lose half the people I’m talking to. Few people seem to know the difference between “Spiritist” and “Spiritualist,” and lemme tell ya there is a pretty big difference there. However, even people who constantly practice Spiritism actually know what it is, or that it’s what they do. It’s what they’ve learned, and that’s what they practice, it’s just that simple.

Okay, it’s not actually that simple, but we’re not going down that particular rabbit hole today, if you don’t mind. If you really want to know and are just dying of curiosity, feel free to drop me a message or comment here, and I’ll get around to it!

I’m not even going to discuss the people who would tell me, vehemently, that you can’t work with Deities from different Pantheons. This is my belief system and I can do whatever I feel I am supposed to do, and it’s between myself and the Entities I Work with. You can do the same. I might think your beliefs are ridiculous, and you might think mine are. I won’t pick on you if you don’t pick on me. However, if you really feel pressed to tell me what I’m doing “wrong” be aware I’ll do the same for you. Also, thanks to therapy, I have learned how to use tools such as the “block button” efficiently and with great pleasure!

To review, I used to embrace the title of “Omnist.” It seemed to embrace everything all at once, which I loved. I still do, but it seems as though someone has organized some sort of religious grouping–church, coven, grove, temple, whatever–and named it Omnist. That wouldn’t bother me at all, except they seem to have dug up the old “ALL GODS ARE ONE GOD” thing, which is exactly opposite my own views. Once you’ve interacted with a Spirit of any kind, you get a feel for them, and they are all different. Extremely different, in some cases.

Whether or not I’m communicating directly with Gods or with their representatives or messengers isn’t quite clear to me yet but, they’re still different. With their own personalities, and methods of getting messages through to my very think mortal head. I just can’t get down with soft-polytheism.

As much as I want to belong to the right label, I equally don’t want to belong to the wrong label. So Omnism is officially out. For me, at any rate. Individual results will, as always, vary.

It didn’t take as long to find my very own personal term, one that I’ve never heard from anyone else, but is so incredibly simple that I think it’s moderately brilliant. Or not. Whichever, lol. As far as I know I’m the first, especially as there are so few people who actually know what Spiritism is, and that the majority of practitioners of Spiritism are Catholic (much as most of those who practice Voodoo are). They don’t really travel in “pagan” circles very often.

I know absolutely embrace the label of “poly-Spiritist.” Many, many spirits. Since my core belief gets down to one principle, that being that all Gods, Demons, Angels, Demi-gods, Daimons, Ancestors, Disincarnate Human Spirits, Fae, Orishas, Lwa, etc., are all Spirits, just different types of Spirits, I think it fits me pretty damn well.

Another difference between my own practice and others is the lack of worship. I don’t worship any Entity. I respect them, I love them, I cooperate with them, I give them “offerings,” and treats of various kinds, but it’s not in a spirit of worship. It’s rather in a spirit of love. I do these things because I want to, not because they’re demanded of me or because there’s some sort of pre-ordained ritual I must partake in because of the date or moon phase or what-have-you. We Work together. I can’t call it a friendship exactly, because they are not like me in many, many ways. But there’s no kneeling in this House. They’re my guides, my teachers, my family, my Guardians.

I am still a Witch, and always have been, always will be regardless of religious observations. Call it as you will, I practice magic or magick, whichever. I don’t often feel it necessary to perform much for myself or my family. There’s not much I have the need for in my own life. My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years, so I’ve no need of love spells. We have enough of what we need in this world, so I’ve no need of money work. I find myself with talent, time, and knowledge, but not a lot to do. This is why I’ve started my Social Justice Witchcraft. Unlike many, I am fortunate enough to have the time to Work for the larger world. For my friends, for those who are currently threatened in this social climate, for people not even here yet. That’s a different rabbit-hole, though. I’ll likely write about that sooner or later.

I am well and truly content in my life. If the phrase “by their fruits you shall know them” has any truth to it at all, I feel I must be doing something right. Which is why I say it’s wonderful. If the day comes that I have to fake Christianity in order to live, I could do that, but I’ll never abandon my Spirits. They are the wonderful that makes my whole life wonderful.