For Love or Money?

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Maybe somewhere in-between? On a spectrum, perhaps?

I know nothing about Etsy. Honest, I swear. I am no expert on Etsy. High Spirits Divine has been open for just a smidge over 3 years, technically, although I really didn’t get working on it in earnest for about 6 months after I opened it. I am no “six figure” Etsy seller, not by a long shot.

I am, however, a self-taught expert on Etsy “experts.” I have spent hours and hours watching YouTube Etsy how-to content, for better and more often, for worse. There are some truly atrocious “coaches” out there, many of whom make me wonder if teaching on YouTube is a more lucrative business than Etsy itself.

Which it was, or at least in recent history it has been. In 2020 when everyone was stuck at home, there was a massive increase in the number of people shopping online, including Etsy. First, because there was no choice. You couldn’t shop out in the real world for a bit, and even when you could, many of us (myself included) were too paranoid to be in a crowded (more than two people I don’t know is crowded, lol) store. Second, the world was FAREEEEAAAAAKKKINNNNG out. Being stuck in the house and isolated was an ideal dream to me, but a lot of people didn’t take the isolation well at all. They needed a fix; a little something to make their lives better, even just momentarily. That rush, the dopamine hit, was what they needed, just to get through the day sometimes.

The Etsy shops that were already open were raking it in. Both the ones that pivoted to making cloth masks as well as the ones that didn’t. The “Etsy Gurus” that came out like a rash in 2020/2021 are the ones that saw that writing on the wall first: Teach people how the instant gratification of a convenient POD shop works and tell them they can be MILLIONAIRES. BOOM! Next thing you know, they’re selling outrageously overpriced lessons and “coaching,” and making their own millions hand-over-fist.

That’s not to say that all Etsy Coaches are like that. They are definitely not, any more than all Etsy sellers are like that. But from the outside, it can be damn difficult to tell one from the either in either category. Which is why I ask, “for love or money,” because it’s really hard for the average shopper to know the difference, and some of them don’t even care, 🫤much in the same way that some shoppers can’t tell really bad AI slop or Chinese dropshippers or again, don’t care. For that matter, there are sellers who don’t care either. Which sucks.

The sellers who create for love have a hobby, an art, a craft, that they’re really good at. They’ve given them as gifts, sold things at craft shows, and they’re ready for that next step. They love their craft, whatever that is…yarn work, painting, ceramics, jewelry, all of it, any of it. They come to the table with a product. They love making it, they’re good at it, and that’s what they want to show the public.

The sellers for money don’t care what they sell. They don’t care what it means or if it means anything at all. They want the easiest product available. You will find them the most in AI-accepting groups because they are inclined to use nothing but. The more automated their business, the better. They’ll use it to decide a niche that will sell, design a product that will sell, create the products that will sell, the pictures to sell the product that it’s made to sell, the entire listing for the product it made, and the advertising to get the business to the site, with as little actual effort on their own part as possible. They’ll often be found making over-done t-shirts with something “Mama” on it, with the latest cutesy trends…racoons, stripes, capybaras…whatever. They don’t care as long as it sells and they get a Porche or whatever.

I’m in the middle. I am definitely doing this for love, even though my products involve the use of AI as well as POD. I am a definite oddity out there, let me tell you. Which is why I noticed this so early on in my Etsy journey. It began to really get to me when I started looking for some sort of new Etsy community. Most of the communities that are accepting (or even promoting) AI and POD are for money, and most of the ones for handmade vendors who are doing Etsy for love are excessively anti-AI, as well as moderately anti-POD. I am also extremely control-oriented; I would never let any computer AI make decisions for me. They are tools. I make the decisions, not them, but I’ll use them for the menial work. Which is why I’m the odd woman out

When I realized that YouTube was only going to get me so far, I decided to select a coach. I had it down to a top five, one was definitely more for hand-made creations although the coaches themselves did POD, so they did have an understanding of and acceptance of that type of product creation. The others had clear-cut “plans” how to make six-figures a year…blah, blah, blah. Now, let me say that not all of them are scammers. There are many money-centered coaches who seem to me, at least, to have a serious interest in helping people to establish businesses on Etsy that theoretically will make money. The problem to me, is more about what it is they want you to do to get it. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. 😉

For my part, the decision at the time was exceptionally easy. I went with the coaches who had given me the MOST information for free on YouTube. Not the same nonsense over-and-over, and not straight out of the Etsy Sellers’ Handbook…although nothing that contradicted it, either. There was another important factor; they had already coached several different witchy sellers, and were in subcultures who are very comfortable with that as well as many I’m comfortable with myself. I knew they’d have some sort of idea of my customer base or my “niche” as they like to call it. Considering my desire to be all one person complete, this was a Gods-Send! In addition, they were the most sincere, the most empathetic, and at least performatively, the most considerate and friendly. These were my coaches. I signed up. I’ve never regretted that.

When I started having trouble with acceptance I wasn’t mad at them or anyone, really. Everyone has the right to their opinion, and it’s the Coaches’ space, not mine. They could incubate whatever kind of community they liked. I’d already been dealing with the occasional snarky comment about POD after all. This was different, though. I was more than just a little uncomfortable. People who hate AI also hate the people who use it, and honestly are as rabid as Evangelical Christians trying to convert any non-believer, or MAGAts coming into a progressive thread just to bully. That is why I did a quick exit, hoping I could go back after it all blew over eventually.

I’ve apparently made some progress in therapy as at their last live I couldn’t hold a damn thing in, and I spoke up. I’m all good with my coaches now, not sure about the community, but at least I’m speaking up and I’m not lost atm. Its progress.

However, in between the occurrences, I started re-examining what coaches are out there in YouTube University, and I noticed the differences. I did find a few very earnest, sincere, and honest POD/AI Coaches. One in particular I’m still thinking about simply because I have no practical graphic arts education, and would like a professional eye to look at my designs. My coach doesn’t touch that; they help you sell what you’ve already designed, but don’t tell you what to do. Which is a good way to spot the difference between love and money; for the money coaches will gladly and without question tell you what to sell. Blow by blow, even. Its all part of their plan. So if that’s what you’re looking for, they’re perfect. 

Thing is, for me, I’m not normal. I’m doing this out of my own love for the Spirits, and doing this all at their direction. Not the products so much as the images, or at least that’s what most are particular about at the moment. Who knows what tomorrow will bring! AI is the way I can do that. Would I like to be a millionaire? Sure, who wouldn’t? Billionaire? Excessive, but I think about my friends and family, and the world at large and what I could do with that money…so yeah, I’d take it for sure. But I don’t expect it. I’d like to make a decent living off of it, enough to at least give us some comfort as we get older. Health care being what it is, and the government being what it is, we’re going to need money to take care of ourselves unless something changes drastically. Especially as my we both have physical restrictions and my husband is only working part time at the moment. Yeah, we kind of need some money.

Right now, I’m breaking even, and that’s a perfectly fine start for me in what’s essentially my second year in business. The rest will come with time. I’m not in that much of a hurry. Yet.

Well, I’m personally useless as an Etsy coach, and that’s fine with me. I don’t think I’d want the headache! However, I’m seriously thinking of reviewing the Etsy Coaches. That’s something I haven’t seen out there, and something I think the community at large could really use. I might have to do it without using their real names, some of them are…well, one in particular is a bit lawsuit-happy. Most of them are in the US, and everyone knows how we loooooooooooooove litigation~! 🙄

Its about time, I think, we talk about this.

No Country for Old Women

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I have always been, and seems I will always be the odd woman out. The extremely square peg. The redheaded stepchild. Finally, I can at least say I’m starting to get used to it.

I have always wanted to find the place where I could be my complete and whole self in public.

There’s no such place. Utopia, right? Some of us get that joke. Utopia is a word that originally meant “nowhere,” because it doesn’t exist, and never will.

I can be me here. I can’t call it a community, but I can absolutely say this is me. Complete and whole. Don’t like it? That’s fine. I don’t like everyone on earth either. Just don’t expect me to care, okay? Move along. It’s what I do, what polite adults do. It’s all I ask.

It took a long time, but I found the absolutely perfect Etsy coach for me, who came with a beautiful community of incredibly creative people from Etsy. Not a group of let’s make another “Mama Shirt” creators. She understood paganism, at least to an extent, and I felt appreciated and that I could fit in there but…

I use Generative AI. They hate Generative AI. So much for that community. Odd woman out. Again.

Obviously, I’m the problem. I’m the reason the evil data centers are needed and being thrust upon the public where they’re not wanted or needed. Also, I’m STEALING FROM ARTISTS. Right.

Fine. Let’s just go there.

First, I’m not the ONE creating a need for data centers. You could take ALL the generative art designers in the US, and together we wouldn’t be the cause. Generative AI has been used in art for at least 4 years now, and LLMs for longer. We were fine with the data storage we had. That’s not the problem.

You’re looking for someone human who you can attack and will react to you for you to vent on. A convenient scapegoat. The truth is a lot more complicated but, hey, maybe those FLOCK CAMERAS might have to do with it? Maybe all the data that the Federal Government is HOARDING about every American Citizen would have something to do with it? And come to it, I’m sure that all those Fortune 500 companies tracking our every move online (Meta, anyone?) have something to do with it?

But sure, blame me.

For this first count, let me now tell you what I’m incredibly proud of. I now have Local AI. LOCAL. As in, it’s completely housed on my own computer. NO DATA CENTER USE AT ALL. So, to be as mature and adult as I can be about this, shut up. That complaint is completely invalid.

Now, as far as stealing from artists, I’m about to offend every artist on the internet. I know I am. But this is the absolute truth. There is not a single artist who has had their art stolen who has any art I would ever use in my products. There’s a world of reasons for that. Some of it is just rank amateur in my eyes. Some of it is a style choice, I don’t want to work with anything “cutesy,” or “Chibi,” or “Manga” or “Comic Book” looking. Not one spirit has expressed any interest in being depicted in those ways. Sorry, not sorry. They are, quite literally, my bosses.

Even in a situation where I might truly appreciate an artist’s style, what are the odds I will see the Spirit the same way? How many artists do you know who like to be instructed in every facet of a piece of art? Hair color, ethnicity, pose, facial expression, clothing choice, background…I am, again because of my bosses, VERY particular. Finding a piece of art online that I can just use as is? It’s really, really fucking hard. I’ve tried.

Here’s Anput. She was generated off of Anubis believe it or not. On the back of the journal, you can see the other items I generated. Even her buddy there on the cover was generated by me. All individually, then pieced together as a collage.

I’ve found a few, and I’ve used them. But when I started to stretch into the lesser-known entities, like Qebhet, for example, it wasn’t even a question of finding something I agreed with. I couldn’t find anything. Hell, I couldn’t even find a complete set of Canopic Jars and I felt those were EXTREMELY important for Anput’s images. It had to be right. That took me quite literally about 18 iterations to get that piece of art which is just one component in the overall piece.

Three different pieces made up this card back. One of them I bought, 2 I generated.

ALSO, if you were an artist, and you could put your art on a t-shirt yourself, why would you sell your art cheaper to someone else for them to do it? Its far more supportive of human artists to want them to make everything they can off of their art. I would gladly help anyone who wanted to go POD with their art, honestly. I want them to get out there and make a living off of it, and I find too many artists don’t have the business sense to do it.

I’m going long again, but just figure that I don’t write often, I write long 🤣

Here’s what my moral law is as far as art goes. I stick to the dead. I do not work with any art style that is recent. I personally like the 75 year standard used for copyrights and so on. The average age. Older types of art as well as art styles that were used for marketing or in such large quantities by so many people giving lots and lots of possible combinations, but most of the art I work with is, well Ancient Egyptian. Ancient Greek. Merovingian. Medieval Christian. Renaissance. The newest I think i have ever touched would be the Art Deco/Art Nouveau/Art Informel, etc., the heyday of which is about 100 years. I also NEVER USE AN ARTIST’S NAME. Never. I stick with styles, schools, movements, ages. That’s it.

Let’s face it, for the Entities I’m working with, the ancient forms of art work better anyway. Anubis looked better in Egypt, although I have to say I ran some patterns with Hekate in Egypt, and they were fire. We’ll see…Merovingian has given me some interesting results as well.

There’s a lot of fun to be had by combining styles and adding in different art terms. Throwing the term “dark” onto anything, or “gothic,” can change an entire look. Gives me that creativity that everyone assumes is missing from AI. Come on, Goth Nouveau? SO BANGING! Esoteric and Occult change the entire vibe of a piece. Goth Esoteric Les Fauves Art…would make a human artist’s head spin, but the AI keeps up with me and my vision.

I don’t just generate a piece and throw it on a product, either. When I started this adventure, I was using the Etsy guidelines; if it wasn’t your own art, it had to have at least two to three other pieces in it to make it your own. I started collaging. And I still do. That canopic jar? That was only one piece of about five I created or found for that Anput image. With the patterns I generate, I can put them on all sorts of different products and reuse the heck outta them so that the generation is anything but wasted. Not just that, either. I pull those apart and use as clip art in other pieces.

My current favorite Dionysus image, pilfered from my own pattern.

I am very frugal in all ways! 😊

The truth is, I’m a writer not a physical artist. Words are what I’m stronger with, and this is a format that is made for me. The better you can describe, the better the art. I can actually bring what I see to life and share it with you. I’m sorry, but to me that is art, although there are far too many people out there who have way too much hate for me for it. That’s my life.

I do not use the “art” word in public much. Too many people are biased against me to begin with. I will say designer, the ultimate compromise, much like I would say I was a “crafter” in my jewelry-making days. People hated me for that, too. I didn’t do anything but string beads, I wasn’t an artist…yeah, I’ve heard all this bullshit before.

If I wasn’t slowly losing my hands, I’d probably still be doing the jewelry. I had plans…I was going to do a LOT of crafting for my shop. If I can get a dx and the proper treatment, maybe I can still get some of it done. Currently, I have a melted knuckle, and other digits that feel like they’re going in the same direction. Its either RA or Sjogren’s, and I have way more markers for Sjogren’s, so that’s a little scary. It takes on average about 6 years for an actual diagnosis with that one; I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t mind the osteoarthritis, in my family that’s predictable. I’ve known I had the swan’s neck deformation when I was in my thirties.

This is different.

But I can still create and whether you like it or not, that’s what I’m doing.

At the end, I realize that I will lose potential business because of my decisions. I am alright with that. My Gods and Spirits are happy with me, and I know I will be cared for by them. At the end of the day, it’s Their approval that matters. Yours would be a bonus.

Triggered?

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Yeah? #MeToo.

It’s not just the Epstein files, either. Granted, that was the beginning of this round, but certainly not the end for me, at least.

The psychological issue that finally knocked my camel over was what is known as “Avoidant Personality Disorder.” It’s like Social Anxiety on crack or something. I avoid everyone and everything. Family, friends, society at large in person or on the internet. It doesn’t matter. I even avoid my husband by not doing most of the chores I’m in control of…I don’t want to be upstairs for any length of time at all. I used to hide in my closest as a child, but the basement is now my adult-size closet. Alone with my cats, hobbies, and computer, I avoid the world until I can finally handle all these feelings.

Thank the gods I have my therapist.

My time hasn’t been wasted because I’ve been absolutely obsessing over my business. It’s given me a focus, and a way to avoid the news which seems to be my major trigger. I went through all my Epstein-related anger quickly enough. It’s not an easy battle, but the first part of it was quick at least. Yes, I meant that #MeToo. Statistically 2/3 of women in the US have been raped, so I know I have plenty of company. I have a tendency to dismiss my own case because I didn’t even know there was such a thing as “date rape” when it happened. I didn’t have any idea of that for years after, and I finally had to recognize it for what it was. I managed to get through that, but I still dismiss it. I want to say I can’t possibly understand what those women went through but the truth of the matter is that I do, probably more than many and less than others. Because what they went through wasn’t just rape; it was the destruction of their innocence, and an extreme betrayal of their trust. That’s what happens when it’s someone you know. That was me.

Then the next realization hit me, that it’s not just the (and here’s where the swearing starts) FUCKING Epstein-Trump class that committed those atrocities. It was every single accomplice involved. Every single person who hid the facts, buried the investigation, and helped bring them victims. It was the Biden administration who had FOUR FUCKING YEARS to investigate without interference from them. Who COULD have stopped this all, investigated, and imprisoned. They could have prevented Trump from seizing power again. They could have prevented all the struggle and pain FOUR YEARS AGO.

That’s not saying that someone else couldn’t have stopped this before. Hell, Epstein was first found guilty and LET OFF WITH A SLAP in 2008. If those files had been exposed then NONE of this would have happened. They’d all be in jail. Jan. 6th wouldn’t have happened. 2016 wouldn’t have seen Trump’s first reign. Even if it had been a Republican in office, it would have been a normal Republican. Goddamn, I never thought I’d miss them quite so much…*sigh*

Then came the latest Iran war.

People who don’t know me don’t know my obsessions, one of which is Christianity. From being waist-deep in the Charismatic Movement through High School to my obsession with cults, I’ve been watching the lunatic fringe of Christianity for years. And I do mean years.

When I was involved in the Charismatic Movement, it was in the 80s. The Cold War. So it wasn’t just Christianity moaning and groaning about the world ending; we all thought it was a possibility. On the Secular side, most people were just worried because the rhetoric was fast and furious. The US and USSR were constantly getting in each other’s faces, supporting opposite sides in wars and waving nuclear weapons around. Movies were very post-apocalyptic. TV shows delved into Nostradamus and HIS predictions of the end-times, comparing his cryptic lettering to modern happenings.

I was absolutely positive the end was coming by 2000. I even swore never to have children because there was no way a child of mine could be more than 9 years old by the time the world ended, and that just didn’t seem fair.

I’m still watching them.

So when I heard there were red heifers smuggled into Israel, I knew what was coming. When I heard that one of them was “blemished” and used for a “practice” sacrifice, I wasn’t even remotely surprised. But I hadn’t expected for the lunatics to find a president to support them. But here we are.

See, the red heifer is necessary to sacrifice before the temple can be rebuilt. The temple that would have to be rebuilt where there is currently a Mosque. The Muslim government and population who own that Mosque would have to be eliminated by Israel before that can happen. And here we are.

The Israeli government doesn’t necessary believe any of that, and they don’t have to. Pretending to is enough to get the people in charge of our government to help them with their goal, which has always been to expand their tiny little piece of land and take every single inch of land that used to be Israel, like 4000 or so years ago. In some minds, it’s still theirs. It’s promised to them. In the minds of the Evangelicals, it’s also theirs. It has to be theirs before Christ will return. IGNORE the fact that Revelations hasn’t got a thing to do with “prophecy,” that it was referring to Rome, and that Jesus Christ, if he had been the messiah, should have eliminated Rome when he was alive. Technicalities. This is what the Evangelicals believe, and they’re rolling with it.

And when he finally gets here, all the Jews are supposed to convert or die, pretty much. So it’ll all wash out in the end. The Evangelicals will take the partnership because it’s useful at the moment, as the Israeli government will take their assistance to get what they want as well.

As much as I know better than to be afraid of anything actually happening by way of Christ returning or temples being rebuilt, I’m very practical about other disasters happening because these people are trying to bring about the end of the world. Like accidentally bringing about the end of the world with no savior coming around to make it worthwhile.

It makes me want to hide under my desk.

I never thought something like that could trigger me, but here I am. Another learning experience. 😆At 57. Yes, old dogs do learn new tricks. Between my therapy and my prescriptions, I’m keeping myself together and crawling out of it. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one with this issue, either. Given the number of people leaving the Christian church every year, there are likely an awful lot of us out there. Let me know if you’ve got that feeling, too. Find me on FB if you like, I’ll be sheepishly heading back there soon. (It’s ALWAYS really embarrassing to go back to a social group after one of my episodes; and embarrassment is one of the triggers for AVP, ain’t that great? 🤣) so I’d love to hear I’m not alone. Or give me some comments. Or likes. I could definitely use the love on this. For sure.

I’m thinking my next blog might be a little more…normal. I hope.

Thanks for being here.

 

 

WTF is POD? On dropshipping, reselling, and POD

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Greetings, Curiosi!

It’s only a guess, but I’m pretty sure that the average shopper hasn’t any idea of the difference between dropshipping, POD, and other manufacturing methods. Which is as it should be, I suppose, because if you’re not in “the business” there’s really not many ways to find that out. But with everything going on with Etsy and how it was invaded by people obviously either reselling or dropshipping, I thought it might be time for me to address this myself. Especially as I use POD myself, and I don’t want anyone to think I’m one of those evil dropshippers!

There’s two different methods of invasion used by resellers. Some of them will actually buy products from AliExpress or even AliBaba (the difference being that the latter is a business-to business seller, while Express is more like Temu), warehouse them, and mail them out to buyers themselves.

There’s no tariff to worry about that way that would expose the seller easily as to what they’re about, so that’s a bit insidious.

This is printed on a mousepad; there’s no way I’d do this at home!

The second way is, of course dropshipping. I think most of us are familiar with the phrase, but for those of you who might not exactly and perfectly understand the term…

Dropshipping is more likely a deal between a seller and another vendor, most likely in China. It’s not always AliBaba, there are other sources. In fact, there are platforms dedicated purely to finding manufacturers and suppliers to contract for dropshipping. In this case, you can order it from anywhere in the US, UK, wherever, but it’s most likely going to be posted from China, India, Mexico, etc.

The hardest part about dropshipping is that the Chinese resellers in particular have a habit of stealing both the idea of a product and the photos from a legitimate maker on Etsy. China has much different trademark laws, so it’s actually possible that some are doing this without even knowing it’s against the law in most other countries. China, although a country with a Communist government, has a more unfettered and more unrestricted capitalist market than we do. Food for thought, that. 

A full size blanket would be outrageously expensive to buy in bulk

The best way to figure out if an Etsy seller is a reseller or THE artist who created the item in the first place is to use a Google reverse image search and see if it pops up on one of the Chinese marketplaces; AliExpress, Temu, Shein, or Wish. Look at the specifications if it comes up on one of them. All their t-shirts will be polyester, on Etsy they’re likely to be cotton or a blend. Often, items will be made of resin or plastic instead of ceramic. There are definitely ways to tell. Also, look at the other items that the Etsy seller has in their store. If all their other items are similar and look like they were made by the same people, if they have pictures of the items being made, you’re probably safe. If not, you might want to keep looking.

Now, there’s a hybrid that can *look* like it’s dropshipping, but it’s technically not. That’s known as “white labeling.” If there’s an artist who has such amazing sales that they can’t keep up with demand on their own, they might either hire people for their own production company OR they might give the design elements to another manufacturer to create it for them. It’s still out of the artists’ head, but in order to keep up they just can’t make it themselves. Etsy still considers this “handmade,” although its most likely someone else’s hands making them. 😉

52 cards, front and back? I think I’d rather have someone else print them, it would take me FOREVER

White labeling is made from a huge array of products, including an awful lot of beauty and self-care products. If you follow any of that, the Urban Decay setting spray is a perfect example of this; they had a contract with a different company to make that product under their own name brand, and recently broke that contract and began making their own formula. It sort of caused a stink. 😆In fact, many beauty brands use out-of-the country manufacturing, some even using the same ones.

Otherwise known as “Print-on-Demand,” POD involves using a printer or several printers to create the products that the artist has created. It’s the easiest method for artists whether it’s their physical art, digital art, or AI-assisted art. The design is sent to the printer digitally, they place it on the product and ship it. POD relieves the artist from the drudge work and a LOT of expenses. I couldn’t *possibly* buy all the equipment needed for all the various methods of print on the different range of products available. It also relives us of having to have warehouse space, and putting out outrageous amounts of money buying products to be printed at wholesale prices and quantity. (YIKES!)

Most of us smaller sellers could never afford what it would take to print everything ourselves.

Print on demand is the ultimate compromise. It’s still being made by hand (much like white labeling), just not the artists’ hands. The vast majority of printers I work with are in the US, but because I use a company that is another platform/marketplace, I have access to printers all over the place. The t-shirts in my shop, as an example, are printed in nearly every delivery zone; US, UK, EU, AUS, and CAN. I can have them printed at the location closest to the buyer which means a lot less postage time, a lost less postage cost, and no worries about tariffs. It’s a huge advantage.

Overseas printers makes my life so much easier!

Also, POD handles all the tariff laws. The US isn’t the only country that has them, it’s just the one that implemented them in the worst way possible. There’s also laws like the GPSR in the EU which requires an artist to have someone in the EU who will essentially testify to the quality and safety of the product. Using a print provider, I don’t have to worry about that; if I were printing from home, likely I’d be unable to sell overseas at all, at least to the EU. Many handmade artists had to stop selling to the EU when that law passed there.

Annnnnd…I’m over 1000 words again! It’s amazing how long I can wax poetic about the mundane, isn’t it? To finish this off, my creations are still my creations. They come out of my head. But POD makes bringing them into reality a heckuva lot easier. I’d never be able to do this business if it weren’t for them.

~*~Camylleon~*~

Curious?

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You’re in excellent company if so. I know I am. Always have been.

Curiouser and Curiouser

I think I talked about this before, but in case you missed it 😁, I gave up on the “Children’s Library” in 3rd grade. I remember the day, although not the date, as if it was some sort of ritual. It was quiet, so quiet, and felt like walking into a church, especially after the chaos and bright colors of the children’s library which our library hid in the basement.

Because I do have a “touch” of OCD, I stared for a minute, looking at the plaques with the Dewey Decimal System codes on each bookcase, and decided to start where one always ought, at the beginning. I headed to the 000.00 section and began.

Things have changed quite a bit since then, but almost 50 years ago now (YIKES!) the 000.00 section began with the “unexplained.” Now, they’ve shoved computers in there as well, and who knows what else. In my day, though, I found ghosts, vampires, folk magic, witchcraft, and so much more. The Unexplained was right near to religion, psychology, and mythology, and it’s a miracle I ever made it out of that aisle, but I do remember making it all the way to history, which if I remember right was somewhere around 500-600. Again, though, its been many, many years so I could be incredibly wrong. I buy more than I borrow these days, so I don’t even really know what kind of changes have happened in all that time.

Also, we have a very disappointing library. It looks like a cathedral, a HUGE cathedral, but it was as though they paid for the building and didn’t have money for the books. After we got our own internet service, I didn’t hang out there nearly as long as I’d done at the library where I grew up. Sad, but true. 😢

Curiosity, I tell you, guided my every step.

When I started https://highspiritsdivine.etsy.com,  I hit up ChatGPT because I had no idea what to call the Email Most people seem to use some variation of V.I.P.., I hate that. It just bugs me. Second, it doesn’t remotely fit the brand I’m trying so hard to stick to. The AI gave me four or five options, as I recall, and one of them was Curiosi. I knew, immediately, that this was the one. Because Curiosity, I realized, is the one character trait we all have in common.

By all, I mean all. When you look at everything that loosely gets thrown into that umbrella of “Pagan,” (which really just means not a Christian, or worse, not educated. It was basically an insult, like calling someone a hick.) it’s a huge mishmash of not-quite-related paths. There are some that seem very Christian based, or at least Abrahamic such as Ceremonial, Enochian, and even Christian witchcraft and most branches of ethic folk magic. At the other end of the spectrum, yet still within the Christian mythology, you’ve got Gnostics, and Satanists from Atheistic Satanists to Theistic Satanists. Then there’s Polytheists in both Hard and Soft forms, meaning some see Gods as different entities, and some see the Gods as different faces of some bigger deity that’s imperceptible by humans unless we break it down into smaller bite-sized chunks. And that’s not all because there are witches of every single stripe from Atheistic to Theistic, Voudou to Earth Magic. Applachian Granny magic to Hoodoo. Manifesting to longer recipe-based spellwork. Enochian and Sorcerers summoning entities to perform services. Chaos magicians who…well, do whatever they like.

HOW do we lump us all in together? We all have some things in common, but none have all things in common. It’s not like other religious beliefs where you’ll have different denominations, and they all have at least the major deities in common. We’ve got bupkis, nada, zilch. Sometimes it even seems like we have no common ground at all. 

But we’ve got curiosity.

If we didn’t all have this in common, every single one of us would still be participating in the religion and religious practices of our parents, grandparents, going back generations. I never would have picked up a book in the “Unexplained” section of the library, let alone “Drawing Down the Moon,” by Margot Adler, which was my gateway into paganism. I’d have accepted the Greek Myths in the context that they were given to me; stories from ancient people who didn’t understand anything and used mythology to explain the world around them. I certainly would never have even entertained the idea of casting a spell, even in a Christian context.

I remember Mary Trump said, although I don’t remember where, that her uncle (the president) had absolutely no intellectual curiosity. That was the first time I’d heard anything of the sort, and it seemed something incredibly terrible and, well, boring. After contemplation though, I realize this is one of the biggest differences between myself and “the squares.” Many humans are completely satisfied learning the bare minimum in school, watching reality television, working at the same job or whatever job they can find in something of a zombie state, eating the same food all their lives.

I just can’t. When I got a new text book, I’d thumb through it excitedly and get mad when I’d get the syllabus and it wouldn’t cover some of the more interesting sections. So I’d read them anyway. I have one of my mom’s textbooks from college, I bought it used on Ebay (its not the same copy, she’s still got hers) because it explained the Anglo-Saxon wergild system, and their culture, better than some of the more modern books on the subject. When I opened an English textbook to read Samuel Coleridge Taylor’s poems after I’d seen a movie, I got stuck on the first poem, Beowulf, and started reading the book there.

I wish curiosity were contagious. This would be a far better world if more people had it in larger doses!

This is the glue between us. The books, the tomes, the online discussions on every forum going back to the AOL chatroom days forward. We all have a vital curiosity that drives us. Our paths wander and meander through different practices as we discover new information, meet new people, exchange techniques and theories. We grow in so many different directions, but at the same time, we all grow.

My curiosity is insatiable. I have said over and over again the day I stop learning is the day I start dying.

 

 

The Long, Sad Tale of WOE

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First, this isn’t sadfishing. Honest. Just a combination of venting, warning, and attempting to laugh at the ridiculousness of life as it is in this bizarre timeline we’ve found ourselves in. We’re okay. Shaken, sure, but essentially still in the good fight. 

Why is it that it has taken me so freaking long to get to this blog? To get my storefront layouts done? To hangout on social media? It’s a long, sad, tale of woe (therefore the title! 🤣) With a deeeeep breath, I’ll dive in, and hopefully keep this under 1000 words!

First, a little background. Hubs and I are both diabetic. I’m not yet stabilized (I’m working on it!) and he is. He’s actually able to control his sugars with just diet and exercise. Yep, I’m jealous. We’ve got a lot of other little problems as well, I like to call refer to them as “the death of 1000 cuts” because nothing individually is life threatening, but altogether they’re complicated.

During the pandemic, two of those complications happened to Hubs. First, there was a blocked blood vessel behind his left eye. This meant that he’d be having a series of injections in that eye. (YIKES) Second, after his second Covid Jab, he developed Shingles. In his right eye.

Let’s say right here and now, Vaccines are a mixed blessings. The Vaxx that protects us from Covid can mess with the immune system of those of us who are compromised, and that’s what happened to Hubs. However, the Vaxx for Shingles protected MY BUTT, so I’m more than a little appreciative of that. Everyone has to pick their poisons, but let me tell you, as someone who has never even had Chicken Pox, I was EXTREMELY eager to get that Vaxx, and I’ll forever be happy about that decision. Shingles is nothing to mess with.

Hubs is currently employed in an extremely visual craft, working for an architectural engineering firm where he’s responsible, primarily, for the layout of plumbing and fire protection. Tiny lines. Everywhere. Not easy to do when both eyes are compromised.

After steadily improving for over two years in his right eye (the Shingles eye), he suddenly had difficulty seeing again. (I was extremely lucky that I was able to get my cornea surgeries in while he was able to drive in between!). The glaucoma doc said there wasn’t anything else he could do, and sent him to another specialist. Thankfully, it was the same doctor who’d done my corneal surgeries. We absolutely trust her and adore her, honestly. She’s freaking amazing.

We’re in an HMO, of course, and so armed with the appropriate referral from his PCP, we made the appointments and continued with treatment. Turned out that Hubs had two ruptures in his right eye. Two. Ulcers, she called them. No idea how that happened, and we were a little freaked out, especially when she said that one of those was extremely large, looked like it was getting longer, and it was deep. If it got deeper, it could actually cause his eye to…well, burst. All the liquid from his eye would come pouring out and…alright, we were freaking out with good reason.

After trying several things, and doing many tests, emergency surgery was finally set up about two weeks later. Emergency enough for her to schedule him in the morning before her office hours. Thankfully, there’s a surgery center attached to her practice, so we got there really early in the morning on July 1st and she sewed the large ulcer together, and then his eyelid was sewn shut so that it would heal properly without stress.

In the meantime, I was diagnosed with a retinopathy. Fortunately, it was caught early enough that our retinal doctor (the same one giving Hubs injections in his left eye) said I’d be able to have the laser procedure instead of injections. Whew. That’s the second time my vision diagnosis has been what I refer to as a “one and done.” Surgery was scheduled, and I made the call to get my referrals.

Now, we’re in a bit of a flashback here, because my retinopathy diagnosis actually happened a couple of weeks before the surgery for Hubs’ right eye. Mid-June, to be exact. The week before my procedure, the eye clinic called me to cancel my appointment. They were no longer taking referrals from our primary doctors’ practice.

WTF??!!??

It took some poking around, but I found the reason. After several phone calls to the insurance company and doctors offices, I found it on Google. Of course I did. The doctors’ practice had filed for bankruptcy. Neither our doctors, nor the insurance company was aware of that. OR at least our doctors offices didn’t admit to it. This practice had over 40 doctors and almost a thousand patients. It’s possible the doctors knew, or some did and some didn’t. At any rate, they had not yet informed their patients OR our insurance company. I’ve no idea if they told any of the others.

So hey, Luigi? I get you. I didn’t go there, but I totally feel it.

We were informed by the insurance company that specialists’ contracts were in effect until October. We were given continuation or transition of care forms, and were told to pay the specialists up front and remit ourselves for payment, so that’s what we’ve been doing. It’s painful, because it’s a lot of money up front. Especially for surgery. And those injections are about a grand a piece.

The end of of this story? Our doctors’ practice declined to sign a new contract with our insurance company because they wanted more money per capita from them. Greedy bastards. This means that we’re no longer able to see our doctors, and for someone with a LOT of medical anxiety, that really hurts me. But I kept my therapist, so that’s a kind of fair trade. I might be alright. The only other doctors in our town were booked through December 2027, but we found some that weren’t too far away with a much larger practice through a local hospital. We’ll have to readjust, it’s a different hospital, different specialists. Hubs is debating paying out of pocket for our retinal doctor, because he’s out of network now, but he keeps his other specialists and gets back his endocrinologist so that’s just about even.

Will I ever go back? I’ll want to, that’s for sure. My doctor is…amazing. Sheesh, I still think of her as “my doctor.” But I can’t trust that practice now. Hubs is going to be looking for a job soon (a whole different tale of woe), so our insurance might change but still, they dropped the ball big time by not giving anyone warning ahead of time, and then being greedy and refusing a new contract. I’ve never before even heard of a medical practice declaring bankruptcy, so I feel they’re horribly mismanaged. I keep hoping my doctor will move to a different practice and solve it all for me, but I’m not her only patient, I know that.

The good news? We’ll never need another referral to see the doctor who just did Hubs’ eye surgery…

Hopefully I’ll be around more often now. This week was the first week with only one medical appointment, so our schedule is mellowing out significantly. I’m getting more work done too, just finished laying out all the Anubis products! He’s looking magnificent, as He should!

Again, I’m not begging for likes 😉but I’d love any likes or comments you’d feel like leaving me. Needless to say, it’s been a rough couple of months! Thanks as always for reading! Until next time…

~*~Camylleon~*~

Autism-Adjacent, Part Two: Hopefully a Conclusion

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I have to begin this post with an apology. I haven’t been ignoring you all, It’s been a helluva roller coaster ride with health issues around here. Enough for a completely different post…

So, now where did I leave off…? Oh, yeah. The BIG, BAD DIAGNOSIS!

To be absolutely honest, I was aware of this “condition.” I’ve known since childhood. Thing is, I also honestly thought it didn’t fit me anymore. Like I grew out of it or something.

I guess not.

I was too ashamed to admit this publicly at first. It’s just embarrassing, especially as it’s not a “real” diagnosis. If you ask me, it ought to be. It’s every bit as difficult, socially and mentally, as the two (or more) conditions its related to. Problem is that, much like autism, people who don’t have the condition would never believe it. The bullying alone is damaging enough.

Granted, there are a lot of my “side conditions” that haven’t got much at all to do with the BIG diagnosis. Then again, there are definitely some that came right from it or were indirectly a cause. Like my anxiety, for instance. I do still believe I was genetically more vulnerable to that. However, my Mom had been badly bullied as a child and so was incredibly worried about me when it started to affect me as early as Kindergarten. So, what did she do? Like anyone trying to protect a child, she helicoptered. She and the mother of a friend of mine who was also a bullying victim, started a Brownie group. She was a room mother at my school. She was constantly watching me out the kitchen window unless I was at someone else’s house. I had very strict rules as far as where I was allowed to go and when, and even in the summer we were in the house after dinner, which was at the ridiculously early hour of 4 pm. Those are just examples, of course. There was so much, much more. But in understanding her, I can’t blame her. I just focus on my own healing.

So, what on EARTH is the big, bad diagnosis?

Well, this Venn Diagram is it. Yep. I’m not Autistic. It’s not ADHD, it’s not even OCD which is another affiliated condition (although I do have many similarities with that one, too…dammit.)

No, I’m GIFTED. WTF. Seriously. This is another one of those situations where people who have no idea what this means think it’s a “good” condition. Take a look at this diagram, though. Good? No. Honestly. It’s like people who have been plagued by the dead since they were children which is also called a “gift.” If you’ve ever met someone who encountered these Spirits as children, I’d say I doubt that it’s a gift. Seems more often to be a curse to those who suffer with it. And it’s the same thing with me. If you think being a teacher’s pet is hard, imagine what the entire school knowing your “gifted” does. It ain’t no fun, I’ll tell you that.

And although I know all that having lived with it all my life, it’s something I did start beginning to believe I’d grown out of it. Everyone else in the world had somehow caught up to me, I was completely normal. I don’t know. Maybe that was my self-defense system finally kicking in. Unfortunately, one of the major differences between gifted and autism is in the realm of emotion. My emotions are…insanely intense. INSANELY. I can’t hold them in, I can’t pretend I feel differently, I’ve never had to “mask” to fake emotions but damn straight I wish I’d been able to mask to hide my emotions.

That just made the bullying worse. When a bully smells blood in the water like that, they don’t stop, they beat harder. Then, to complicate things even further, I had no understanding from my home life. I was constantly told to toughen up, it wasn’t that big a deal, fight back with words. Granted, my words are one of my strongest weapons, but have I mentioned I don’t “fight or flight?” Nope. I “freeze or fawn.” That makes it DAMN hard to think quick and fight back with words or not.

Things were briefly better for me in Junior High as I had a large group of “outcast” friends. We looked out for each other. Three of them had been in my grade school class with me. Which was, btw, for “gifted children.”

My husband and his brother were in that class with me as well. 😉

The additional complication that gifted people have, above and beyond the symptoms and the bullying, is the profound feeling of failure and depression that occurs. No matter what you do or where you are in life, you’re not up to the expectations everyone placed on you as a gifted child. My life hasn’t been easy because of that. I expected the absolutely best just like everyone else did for me. At the end of the day, however, I failed at working, I failed at finances, I failed at a business, and to add salt to the wound (womb?) we were unable to have children making me a failure at even being a woman, a very basic thing. Maybe even the most basic. On top of all the oddities and eccentricities in my behavior that put the target on my back, the expectations of myself and others caused a lot of mental anguish. But, you know, I wasn’t supposed to actually show those feelings.

If you’re wondering, yes, you can have more than one condition the answer is, “yes”. Some of you might be even more complicated than you knew. It’s kind of hard-to-find resources online about adult gifted people. There are a few books on the subject, but to be honest I haven’t read any of them yet, so I can’t honestly recommend them. When I do, I’ll be sure to share them here.

And here we are at over 1000 words again. I told you my words are my weapons! Feel free to ask me anything you want. I guess it’s out on the table for the world to see now. Therapy is very helpful for this. My self-esteem is slowly coming back, my anxiety is slowly receding, and I’m starting to understand the things that trigger me. I can’t say that I have embraced being “gifted,” as I don’t know that I feel gifted yet.

I guess that’s the next mountain to climb.

And I don’t usually say this, but “likes” and comments would be warmly welcomed. This is probably the hardest blog I’ve written yet.

~*~ Camylleon~*~

Autism-Adjacent, part One

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I believe I’ve made a few references to my mental health battles here. Maybe not much specifically, but little hints here and there. Some might have assumed these were jokes but I assure you, they’re not. 🙂 With that in mind, I figure I might want to actually explain what that journey has entailed.

I can’t believe I made it this far into my life without therapy, honestly. The first time I saw my primary care doctor, which is going on 6 or 7 years now, she immediately had the nurse drag in the EKG chart and hook me up; my heart was racing that badly. Panic attack? Likely, only I didn’t know what that was. I mean, how do you explain what that feels like to someone who has never had one? They’re all so individual or at least can be. I now know that one of my reactions is a throbbing in my lower back, and sometimes the entire world turns yellow. No one’s ever said anything about panic attacks like that to me.

I thought it was a heart attack. Kinda glad it was “only” a panic attack.

One of the many traumas in my life that I’ve had to deal with is one I’m sure many, many women will relate to. Horrible doctors that minimally don’t listen and maximally berate you, or worse. I hadn’t had a decent doctor who listened in ages at this point, aside from the doctor at that practice who had moved on and abandoned me, and I’d only seen him for about 2 years.

Needless to say, when my PCP got the test results from the EKG and I broke down in tears, she sat down to talk to me. I bawled and explained that I felt like I had some sort of medical PTSD. When I first attempted to get my neuropathy diagnosed (I was pretty sure by this point I knew what it was), the first doctor didn’t even look at my feet or send me to a specialist or anything but write me a couple of prescriptions. The second doctor had told me there was a 40% chance we’d never know what was wrong with my feet, but when I asked about a specialist, she said there wasn’t any need for that.

Right.

But finally, I found a doctor (female, of course) who was listening to me. Not only did she write me my first prescription for anxiety medication, and send me to a therapist, but she also sent me immediately to someone when I complained of menstrual issues. The absolutely WONDERFUL (female) doctor I saw for that caught the endometrial cancer and sent me to a WONDERFUL gynecological oncologist who got me in for surgery 5 days after I saw her with the diagnosis. 5 years later, I’m still clean, and I hope to stay that way.

Long way around, I’m sure, but that’s the background for how I finally got help.

As you can see, and probably know, or at least likely can understand, some of my issues were caused by direct circumstances. Attending what should have been a fairly normal, mainstream church during a particularly fervent Charismatic Movement messed me up, sure. But when combined with an authoritarian father who was really a Baptist in Episcopalian clothes and my innate need for his approval, well, it did double damage. They either refer to that as religious trauma or sometimes religious PTSD. I’ve got issues, like many people, because of bullying throughout my public-school career. Anxiety, just a touch of OCD, social anxiety to the point of avoidant personality disorder, and a little privacy issue. Just a little. Yeah, there’s event-based damage that I can track back, and have traced some of it.

But then, there seem to be issues that were just always there. I wrote on the wall inside my mom’s closet “why doesn’t anyone love me” when I was six. I remember getting stomachaches and not wanting to go to school in kindergarten. I used to hide in my closet to be alone, to the point my parents would freak out and start looking for me. Something was going on genetically, I assumed.

After a false start with a therapist who sucked, at least for me, I ended up with the person I see now who is phenomenal. Perfect for me. Grew up in the same town as I did, even knew some of the same people although she’s a few years older. Her sister was a Wiccan and into ghost hunting, so she knows what I’m talking about in the largest and most important parts of my life. Also, that same sister who unfortunately departed the mortal plane too soon, was trans. She gets my life, my point-of view. I don’t worry about judgment. Phew.

So, the time came when I had a question to ask her. I’d been on TikTok (bad idea, btw), and seen many, many, many people discussing being autistic. I’d picked up a lot, but at the same time many of those people were self-diagnosed. No judgment there, because I understand how hard it is for most people to get therapy and treatment for their mental health. Self-diagnosis is often all they’ve got.

At the same time, I wasn’t sure then, how accurate they were. I had so many “symptoms” that were similar to autism. SO FREAKING MANY!!! Hyperfixations, anyone? I’ve got my share and then some. I’ve been studying cults and religion since grade school. If you want a good genealogist, find someone with a hyperfixation, you won’t regret it. I am amazing at research. If I want to know something, I will not stop until I do. All the food I hate is because of the texture. I will not wear polyester, and you can’t make me. The feel of that is just…slimy…I’m cringing even thinking about it. And of course, there’s more.

When I brought that up to my therapist she smiled broadly, which did worry me slightly, I’ll admit. But she said, “you’re ready for your diagnosis.”

OMG, I’m over 1000 words already! Since attention spans are so small these days, I guess I’ll have to put the rest in a part two. See you there!

Open Acts of Rebellion

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Yes, that’s right, I’m dipping my toe back into politics again. The times being as they are, I’m particularly angry at the patriarchy. Well, more than normal. More than before the elections. Gee, I wonder why. (Obvious sarcasm is obvious) So this is a warning that if politics aren’t your thing, you might not want to stick around. Also, this post will most definitely appeal more to women, both cis and trans, and some of our fluid friends, and less-so to those concretely cis or trans male. There will also be mentions, likely brief, of my own mental health journey. You have been warned! 

I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned, a few times, that I have some neurodivergence issues as well as anxiety and a whole mess of other fun stuff running around in my head. Some of it was a result of bullying and, well, parental issues. Most people can relate to all that, I’m sure. One of the side-effects was an absolutely abysmal self-esteem.

When I say abysmal, I mean I told my therapist I hate my face, and I meant it.

I’ve learned a bit about my dysfunctions now, and I’ve taken some steps to work on it. As progress came around and I stopped hating my face and moved into at least tolerating it, I started thinking about cosmetics.

There were a few other coincidental things that happened at the same time, like the mention of different influencers by someone I was already watching. Coincidence or divine intervention? Probably both, given my life.

You might have noticed, also, that a whole mess of people, mostly identifying as women, have been sporting bright red lipstick. When I looked into it, I found the rumor? Urban myth? That Hitler hated red lipstick and so it was considered patriotic during the WWII era.

AOC is one of the most well-known women with red lips these days aside from Taylor Swift. I’d have added her picture, but I don’t want to get sued!

Now, I can see that as a definite possibility as to why it’s popular now. But honestly, it’s a lot more complicated than that. Most things are, aren’t they?

So, as it turns out, nope. Hitler didn’t actually care about red lipstick in particular That was, and is, a myth.

However, its complicated, amirite? First off, red lipstick was one of the first lipsticks ever created. The Egyptians rocked it, for Pete’s sake.

As far as the “Western” (aka “white”) world goes, lipstick was “created” (because everything we ever do is new) so the man’s lips could be seen in all that hair when beards were all the rage. And because the male ego is so fragile in our patriarchy, they stopped using it as soon as women did, just like high heels and the color pink. Wimps.

Women have been fighting the patriarchy about makeup ever since. It was considered very naughty, like wearing pants, drinking, and smoking. We weren’t supposed to do it. Good girls didn’t. Like we weren’t supposed to have jobs, vote, or think. Let’s face it, that idea has survived through centuries now. Hell, I remember calling red lipstick “FMR” when I was in high school; “f*ck me red.” Good girls didn’t.

Thankfully, some of us didn’t listen.

During the suffragist movements of the early 1900s, red lipstick came out as a power move, a method of rebellion, of not taking the direction of men anymore. As far as “Christian western” civilization goes, that was the beginning.

If you’re thing is history and makeup, this channel is the BOMB. (Did I just date myself? Probably. *shrug*)

As Erin says in the video above, Hitler didn’t care. It cracks me up that Ava Braun had a tube of “Montezuma Red” on her dressing table, because the truth of WWII is that red lipstick was used against women. It was less about being patriotic or fighting Fascism, and more about being beautiful to maintain the men’s morale. Eye candy. Great. That kind of takes the entire point of the power of red lipstick away.

But let’s take another look at history, and culture right here. As much as Hitler didn’t hate red lipstick, it wasn’t encouraged for the most part. Women aside from those close to positions of power, were wearing the “natural look.” Women who wore makeup were considered cheap or tacky or, heaven forbid, “whores.” Sound familiar? Yeah, I’ve heard the same BS coming out of the mouths of MAGA members and incel trolls on the internet. It’s come around again. Watch a few tutorials or walk around a cosmetics counter or aisle. Neutral, neutral, neutral. BORING and neutral has been the theme as of late.

If I ever see another neutral palette, I will not be responsible for my actions.

Also on the Internet, we have such a selection of Trad Wives to follow. Good girls, at home, baking bread and caring for their 15 million children. Straight out of Handmaid’s Tale, I swear. How are they dressed? No pants for the most part, neat, tidy, conservative, with no cleavage at all showing, and barely a shoulder or knee to be seen. Just like the Hitler Women.

The truth is that cults always control what is worn by its members. FLDS and their prairie dresses, Hare Krishnas with their saffron robes, Scientology with their imitation naval uniforms are all fine examples of wardrobe control in action. There are thousands more from more mainstream cults like Mormons all the way up to the far out of reality ones like Heaven’s Gate. Sometimes it’s a law and enforced, sometimes it’s a culture that’s readily adapted and accepted, but it’s almost always there.

It’s one of the ways those in power force us to walk in step.

And so, here is my decision. It’s not just about lipstick. It’s not just about red lipstick. It’s about creativity and freedom of expression. I don’t care which fashion you choose; it could be punk, goth, hippy, raver, disco, or alien. Rock that look; rock it hard. Rock it everywhere. Be a diva. Be YOURSELF.

It’s an open act of rebellion that we can all participate in. Yes, men are invited as well, because let’s face it, they’re not “supposed” to. Ha. Let’s show them they can’t break us.

The irony is that I finally found my “perfect” shade of red and decided I just can’t do it that often. My hair is blue, and I am waaaaay too fair skinned not to look like a flag. sigh

That’s okay though, I have some groovy shades of blue, purple, silver, gold, and even green now…🤣🤣🤣

Not All Women

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Granted, the hashtag “not all men” is one of the most annoying hashtags ever to be seen on social media, so assume that the title of this piece is tongue-in-cheek. True, yes, but still tongue-in-cheek.

I’m not sure if it’s just because I am SO tired of the patriarchy and fighting it body and soul, or if it’s really because I am just that god-bothered, but I’ve come to the realization that there are reasons the Deities who are nudging me are, well, bothered. A lot. To put it in modern human terms, it would seem they have PR problems.

I realized that first, when Hera came knocking. Hard. Loud. Frequently. One thing I can tell you is that this particular Spirit is persistent. And I owed her (long story) so I’m pretty sure she was calling in the favor, so to speak.

My Hera journal from the Etsy store. A new depiction of Her is coming soon!

Hera in ALL Her glory

Seeing as how She is very loud, even my somewhat dense senses picked up Her displeasure with how She’s viewed by the world. Some sort of jealous stay-at-home wife who does nothing but try to thwart the offspring of her philandering husband. Um…

There’s just so much more to Her. (Sarcasm warning) Thanks, patriarchy.

Hercules? The name means “glory of Hera.” IF she was trying actively to kill him, which is still a possibility, there was a much different reason for it than we most commonly believe. I’m getting some messages on it, but none of them are really clear. Maybe we’ll know more definitively someday.

Goddesses, many of them at any rate, have been transformed over the centuries into “mother goddesses” even when their actual character is anything but motherly. Sure, they had children. Many times, they were incredibly fabulous mothers, but they’re not mother goddesses. It’s just sort of attached to them because, well, thank you patriarchy. (More sarcasm) After all, ALL WOMEN ARE TO BE MOTHERS.

F*ck that sh*t.

Could we just get off this merry-go-round? This insane obsession with the sex act and fertility. When will women be allowed to be something else with our lives? It isn’t just in the patriarchy at large, either. It’s been seeping into modern “paganism” since, well, the beginning of it, whenever the hell that was. That’s a whole other discussion.

Don’t get me wrong. Sex can be amazing. I’m just so damned tired of seeing it everywhere when there’s so much more to life, so much more to my life. I don’t really care about your sex life, or anyone’s for that matter. This culture is just obsessed with it and I’m losing what’s precious little is left of my sanity.

Not every woman, not every Goddess, falls neatly into one of the three designated and acceptable categories of “Maiden, Mother, Crone.” I’ve seen it written, for instance, that Hekate was once known as sister as one of Her three faces. I can’t remember the source on it, but it certainly made me think. If I come across it again, I’ll definitely link it here. I don’t remember the other two, unfortunately. Hey, I’m 56 and survived a lot of Grateful Dead concerts. My memory isn’t what it used to be…😵‍💫

My Hex the Patriarchy shirt starring Hekate at High Spirits Divine

We humans aren’t the only ones completely fed up with the patriarchy. A lot of our Deities and Spirits are as well. If you’re in touch with any, and you’re as fed up as I am, ask them to join you in our fight. I’m pretty sure that’s all most of them are waiting for.

There’s a couple, naturally, who are taking advantage of the patriarchy for their own reasons, and a few who would love to if they could find a way in. Let’s face it, Yahweh has got most of that action. But remember, there were traditions among many non-Christian groups upon-a-time to bribe the Gods of another group. Offering them to treat them better, give them bigger temples, better offerings, etc., in order to turn them against their original people. That’s definitely an angle to look at for some of the more belligerent Spirits.

Don’t forget your Ancestors, either. So many women, and men, fought damn hard to get us as far as we are in this world. So many humans fought against slavery, dehumanization, greed, war, prejudice, ignorance…in essence, whether they put the name to it or not, they fought the patriarchy long before we were even dreams in our parents’ heads. Believe me, I’ve got some angry ones.

Never Again Shirt on High Spirits Divine

Created to remember my own Ancestors, and many Others

If you’re a person who works with Spirits don’t forget the well-known ones; those who are remembered for the fights they lost and won. Maybe they’re not your Ancestors, but they have a vested interest in fighting this same patriarchy. Many of them are simply waiting to be asked.

This is, after all, our world. Our plane of existence. We have dominion here (another interpretation of that much-abused phrase). They need to be brought in, like a tagged wrestler, in order to join us in this battle. We need to bring in as many of them as we can. All hands-on deck, so to speak. Is that enough metaphors in one paragraph? I could squeeze in another one if I tried. 😁

This message is of course for those of us who Work with Spirits and/or Deities. If you don’t, if you’re an atheist witch or maybe an agnostic witch, just keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not about to tell anyone who or what to do with their magickal practices any more than I’d tell someone who, what, or how to worship. Freedom of religion, dammit, many of my Ancestors came to the US for that very reason, and I’ll defend it to my death. So will They.

I’m going to try really hard to get the next blog done faster! I have some very important new art to share with you all, and new designs coming!

~*~Camylleon~*~