Tag Archives: Deities

Curious?

Posted on by
Reply

You’re in excellent company if so. I know I am. Always have been.

Curiouser and Curiouser

I think I talked about this before, but in case you missed it šŸ˜, I gave up on the “Children’s Library” in 3rd grade. I remember the day, although not the date, as if it was some sort of ritual. It was quiet, so quiet, and felt like walking into a church, especially after the chaos and bright colors of the children’s library which our library hid in the basement.

Because I do have a “touch” of OCD, I stared for a minute, looking at the plaques with the Dewey Decimal System codes on each bookcase, and decided to start where one always ought, at the beginning. I headed to the 000.00 section and began.

Things have changed quite a bit since then, but almost 50 years ago now (YIKES!) the 000.00 section began with the “unexplained.” Now, they’ve shoved computers in there as well, and who knows what else. In my day, though, I found ghosts, vampires, folk magic, witchcraft, and so much more. The Unexplained was right near to religion, psychology, and mythology, and it’s a miracle I ever made it out of that aisle, but I do remember making it all the way to history, which if I remember right was somewhere around 500-600. Again, though, its been many, many years so I could be incredibly wrong. I buy more than I borrow these days, so I don’t even really know what kind of changes have happened in all that time.

Also, we have a very disappointing library. It looks like a cathedral, a HUGE cathedral, but it was as though they paid for the building and didn’t have money for the books. After we got our own internet service, I didn’t hang out there nearly as long as I’d done at the library where I grew up. Sad, but true. šŸ˜¢

Curiosity, I tell you, guided my every step.

When I started https://highspiritsdivine.etsy.com, Ā I hit up ChatGPT because I hadĀ no idea what to call the Email Most people seem to use some variation of V.I.P.., I hate that. It just bugs me. Second, it doesn’t remotely fit the brand I’m trying so hard to stick to. The AI gave me four or five options, as I recall, and one of them was Curiosi. I knew, immediately, that this was theĀ one. Because Curiosity, I realized, is the one character trait weĀ all have in common.

By all, I mean all. When you look at everything that loosely gets thrown into that umbrella of “Pagan,”Ā (which really just means not a Christian, or worse, not educated. It was basically an insult, like calling someone a hick.)Ā it’s a huge mishmash of not-quite-related paths. There are some that seem very Christian based, or at least Abrahamic such as Ceremonial, Enochian, and even Christian witchcraft and most branches of ethic folk magic. At the other end of the spectrum, yet still within the Christian mythology, you’ve got Gnostics, and Satanists from Atheistic Satanists to Theistic Satanists. Then there’s Polytheists in both Hard and Soft forms, meaning some see Gods as different entities, and some see the Gods as different faces of some bigger deity that’s imperceptible by humansĀ unless we break it down into smaller bite-sized chunks. And that’s not all because there are witches of every single stripe from Atheistic to Theistic, Voudou to Earth Magic. Applachian Granny magic to Hoodoo. Manifesting to longer recipe-based spellwork. Enochian and Sorcerers summoning entities to perform services. Chaos magicians who…well, do whatever they like.

HOW do we lump us all in together? We all have some things in common, but none have all things in common. It’s not like other religious beliefs where you’ll have differentĀ denominations, and they all have at least the major deities in common. We’ve got bupkis, nada, zilch. Sometimes it even seems like we have no common ground at all.Ā 

But we’ve gotĀ curiosity.

If we didn’t all have this in common, every single one of us would still be participating in the religion and religious practices of our parents, grandparents, going back generations. I never would have picked up a book in the “Unexplained” section of the library, let alone “Drawing Down the Moon,” by Margot Adler, which was my gateway into paganism. I’d have accepted the Greek Myths in the context that they were given to me; stories from ancient people who didn’t understand anything and used mythology to explain the world around them. I certainly would never have even entertained the idea of casting a spell, even in a Christian context.

I remember Mary Trump said, although I don’t remember where, that her uncle (the president) had absolutely no intellectual curiosity. That was the first time I’d heard anything of the sort, and it seemed something incredibly terrible and, well,Ā boring. After contemplation though, I realize this is one of the biggest differences between myself and “the squares.” Many humans are completely satisfied learning the bare minimum in school, watching reality television, working at the same job or whatever job they can find in something of a zombie state, eating the same food all their lives.

I just can’t. When I got a new text book, I’d thumb through it excitedly and get mad when I’d get the syllabus and it wouldn’t cover some of the more interesting sections. So I’d read them anyway. I have one of my mom’s textbooks from college, I bought it used on Ebay (its not the same copy, she’s still got hers) because it explained the Anglo-Saxon wergild system, and their culture, better than some of the more modern books on the subject. When I opened an English textbook to read Samuel Coleridge Taylor’s poems after I’d seen a movie, I got stuck on the first poem, Beowulf, and started reading the book there.

I wish curiosity were contagious. This would be a far better world if more people had it in larger doses!

This is the glue between us. The books, the tomes, the online discussions on every forum going back to the AOL chatroom days forward. We all have a vital curiosity that drives us. Our paths wander and meander through different practices as we discover new information, meet new people, exchange techniques and theories. We grow in so many different directions, but at the same time, we allĀ grow.

My curiosity is insatiable. I have said over and over again the day I stop learning is the day I start dying.

 

 

Not All Women

Posted on by
Reply

Granted, the hashtag “not all men” is one of the most annoying hashtags ever to be seen on social media, so assume that the title of this piece is tongue-in-cheek. True, yes, but still tongue-in-cheek.

I’m not sure if it’s just because I am SO tired of the patriarchy and fighting it body and soul, or if it’s really because I am just that god-bothered, but I’ve come to the realization that there areĀ reasons the Deities who are nudging me are, well, bothered. A lot. To put it in modern human terms, it would seem they have PR problems.

I realized that first, when Hera came knocking. Hard. Loud. Frequently. One thing I can tell you is that this particular Spirit isĀ persistent. And I owed her (long story) so I’m pretty sure she was calling in the favor, so to speak.

My Hera journal from the Etsy store. A new depiction of Her is coming soon!

Hera in ALL Her glory

Seeing as how She is very loud, even my somewhat dense senses picked up Her displeasure with how She’s viewed by the world. Some sort of jealous stay-at-home wife who does nothing but try to thwart the offspring of her philandering husband. Um…

There’s just so muchĀ more to Her. (Sarcasm warning) Thanks, patriarchy.

Hercules? The name means “glory of Hera.” IF she was trying actively to kill him, which is still a possibility, there was a much different reason for it than we most commonly believe. I’m getting some messages on it, but none of them are really clear. Maybe we’ll know more definitively someday.

Goddesses, many of them at any rate, have been transformed over the centuries into “mother goddesses” even when their actual character is anything but motherly. Sure, theyĀ had children. Many times, they were incredibly fabulous mothers, but they’re notĀ mother goddesses. It’s just sort of attached to them because, well, thank you patriarchy. (More sarcasm) After all, ALL WOMEN ARE TO BE MOTHERS.

F*ck that sh*t.

Could we just get off this merry-go-round? This insane obsession with the sex act andĀ fertility. When will women be allowed to be something else with our lives? It isn’t just in the patriarchy at large, either. It’s been seeping into modern “paganism” since, well, the beginning of it, whenever the hell that was. That’s a whole other discussion.

Don’t get me wrong. Sex can be amazing. I’m just so damned tired of seeing it everywhere when there’s so much more to life, so much more toĀ my life. I don’t really care about your sex life, or anyone’s for that matter. This culture is just obsessed with it and I’m losing what’s precious little is left of my sanity.

Not every woman, not every Goddess, falls neatly into one of the three designated and acceptable categories of “Maiden, Mother, Crone.” I’ve seen it written, for instance, that Hekate was once known asĀ sister as one of Her three faces. I can’t remember the source on it, but it certainly made me think. If I come across it again, I’ll definitely link it here. I don’t remember the other two, unfortunately. Hey, I’m 56 and survived a lot of Grateful Dead concerts. My memory isn’t what it used to be…šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«

My Hex the Patriarchy shirt starring Hekate at High Spirits Divine

We humans aren’t the only ones completely fed up with the patriarchy. A lot of our Deities and Spirits are as well. If you’re in touch with any, and you’re as fed up as I am, ask them to join you in our fight. I’m pretty sure that’s all most of them are waiting for.

There’s a couple, naturally, who are taking advantage of the patriarchy for their own reasons, and a few who would love to if they could find a way in. Let’s face it, Yahweh has got most of that action. But remember, there were traditions among many non-Christian groups upon-a-time to bribe the Gods of another group. Offering them to treat them better, give them bigger temples, better offerings, etc., in order to turn them against their original people. That’s definitely an angle to look at for some of the more belligerent Spirits.

Don’t forget your Ancestors, either. So many women, and men, fought damn hard to get us as far as we are in this world. So many humans fought against slavery, dehumanization, greed, war, prejudice, ignorance…in essence, whether they put the name to it or not, they fought the patriarchy long before we were even dreams in our parents’ heads. Believe me, I’ve got some angry ones.

Never Again Shirt on High Spirits Divine

Created to remember my own Ancestors, and many Others

If you’re a person who works with Spirits don’t forget the well-known ones; those who are remembered for the fights they lost and won. Maybe they’re not yourĀ Ancestors, but they have a vested interest in fighting this same patriarchy. Many of them are simply waiting to be asked.

This is, after all, our world. Our plane of existence. We have dominion here (another interpretation of that much-abused phrase). They need to be brought in, like a tagged wrestler, in order to join us in this battle. We need to bring in as many of them as we can. All hands-on deck, so to speak. Is that enough metaphors in one paragraph? I could squeeze in another one if I tried. šŸ˜

This message is of course for those of us who Work with Spirits and/or Deities. If you don’t, if you’re an atheist witch or maybe an agnostic witch, just keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not about to tell anyone who or what to do with their magickal practices any more than I’d tell someone who, what, or how to worship. Freedom of religion, dammit,Ā manyĀ of my Ancestors came to the US for that very reason, and I’ll defend it to my death. So will They.

I’m going to try really hard to get the next blog done faster! I have some very important new art to share with you all, and new designs coming!

~*~Camylleon~*~Ā 

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…

Posted on by
Reply

Warning! Before you read any further, I’m about to discuss politics and magic in the same blog post. If you’ve no interest in either, feel free to move on. I’m aware that politics is a highly divisive subject and likely to lose me as many readers as I might gain from it. That’s fine. Leave with my blessing. I’m not going to hide my opinions on this subject because it’s beyond finances or policies, it’s about preserving the lives and liberty of people I love, including myself.Ā 

I consider myself a Social Justice Witch. I haven’t had to Work much for myself and my family in years, thanks to My Spirits. I have the time and the energy to spend on the World and making it a better place for everyone. I realize not everyone has, and that everyone believes anything can be accomplished through Witchcraft, or Magic, or whatever you want to call it. I have dedicated myself to this now for years.Ā 

Unbelievably, there’s an article from CBN (Christian Broadcast Network) of all places, that is making its rounds in the magical world. Inasmuch as I would never consider CBN to be a viable news source, the original source, if you will, seems to beĀ The Toronto Star, These witches are trying to use their power to defeat Donald Trump. From there, Birmingham, Alabama’s ABC affiliate dug into Reddit to find a post regarding witches discussing the feeling that their spells just weren’t doing it, Self-proclaimed Witches Say Spells Won’t Work on Trump.Ā 

Then, and only then, did it reach the radar of CBN among others. So now, of course, the Christian Nationalists who are fans of the current administration and it’s beloved “Project 2025” are aware of all this. I finally became aware of all this through a couple of different YouTube channels that I follow who had their own commentaries on this. One channel is primarily politics, and laughed at the whole concept more, or less. The other, a “witchy” channel, unfortunately agreed.

I say unfortunately, because if you’re one of the people who believe this, you need to take a good long look at yourself.

My first take on all this is that if you don’t think your spells are working, or believe that they can’tĀ work, theyĀ won’t work. I realize that “faith” is something of a dirty word in magical circles these days, but the truth is that faith has a lot to do with magic. Faith in yourself, your gods, the vibrations of materials, whatever, but it’s faith, nonetheless. You mustĀ believe.

Your disbelief will undercut every Work you do. This is one of the reasons that some people in Chaos Magic working with Sigils will do the best they can to actually forget what they just did. If you forget, you can’t doubt. You can’t attack and self-defeat your Workings. You set them free to do what they were engineered to do and go on with your life.

It’s one of the hardest things to do in magic, to forget, to not worry, to absolutely believe that what you’ve just done will have the effect you desire. It takes an amount of confidence that, frankly, makes some people in the culture socially unsufferable. But that’s a topic for a different day.

My next point is that it takes time. Sometimes, it takes aĀ lot of time for spellwork to Work. Just look at how many different parts have to be moved and shifted in order to change something asĀ HUGE as the President of the United States. Just “binding” him is a feat of extraordinary scope, and that’s if all the participants of the group effort have the same concept of what binding evenĀ is. Binding him might not even be the best action to take.

This is my own personal opinion, as a poly-spiritist and a Social Justice Witch. Your perspectives will undoubtedly be different but give me a chance to express myself here. I mean, it is my blog after all. Their “god” is not omnipotent, omnipresent, or omnipotent any more than any other god. There, I said it. If you’re worried about him being protected by prayer, well, give their god a prayer of your own. There were cultures upon-a-time that would actuallyĀ bribe the gods of the enemy, often successfully. They would simply promise the enemy’s deity that they would take better care of them, dedicate a temple, or a shrine or something. Might be worth a try.

You could also pray to one of the other gods of their Holy Book. Turn him in to Elohim or Asherah, for instance. Historically speaking, Yahweh was likely originally a god in the pantheon that was ruled by El, and the pantheon would have been referred to as Elohim. Asherah was the wife of Yahweh. One of them might have something to say about Yahweh’s behavior. Or, as some Christian Witches believe, the “god” of Christian Nationalists might be an Egregore. In which case, appealing to Yahweh, the true God of Christianity, might set that straight. That’s all, of course, if you’re a cleric type of magical person. If you don’t Work with deities, you’ve got a lot of other options.

Don’t attack the tree, attack the roots. Use your Craft and go after the members of Heritage Foundation, the Republican Party, various YouTube Evangelists and influencers. Go after Shittler. Divide and conquer by sewing discord between the various factions who support this regime. Influence your local governments, open the eyes of people individually to see what is actually going on with the Republican party and how it’s been taken over and replaced by what appears to be pure evil. Much like the rebellion that finally started in the GOP when the regime began attacking Medicare, Social Security, and Medicaid, you might see reactions when they realize that artificial insemination, condoms, and porn are on the cutting block according to Project 2025 as well. Facts matter; it’s just a question of what facts matter in whose life.

For those of us who are seriously opposed to interfering with the free will of anyone, there are plenty of options. Protecting the most vulnerable in our society, the most endangered, would be at the top of my list. Or hiding them. Giving strength and energy to those who are on the front lines of the battle, protestors, politicians, independent journalists, etc., and protecting them as they voice their opposition to Cheetolini.

There are so many roles to fill, so many possible ways to put your energy out into the world where it will make the most difference. No one is completely protected. No one is completely shielded. We just have to find the chink in the armor, much like the loose scale on the belly of Smaug. We have to be creative, sure, and direct hits will likely be deflected. That doesn’t mean we give up. It means we fight harder and more consistently.

It’s Just Business?

Posted on by
Reply

Can I tell you how much I detest that phrase? I’ve never had any use for it, and some of the worst people in my life have used that as an excuse for all sorts of horrid actions. It’s never been just business to me.

But then, I think I’ve vented about that before. I am me. I’ve worked very hard, and I’m still working very hard, to be me. I will not divide myself into bite-sized chunks for easy digestion. It just doesn’t work that way. My religion, witchcraft, crafts, arts, politics, humor, disabilities, and neuro-spiciness can’t be parsed out.

When I was searching my brain for a business name, for aĀ brand, as they call it, I wanted something all-encompassing. Like this blog, it was going to be my home, so I needed to be comfortable in it, and feel it expressed all those facets of me-ness. I’ve had a few bad business names in my life, and I’ve seethed with jealousy at friends who just had the best, most creative, most interesting business names. No one seemed to be able to help me with that, though. I don’t know why but all those friends with brilliant business names weren’t able to help me come up with one for mine.

I was on my own.

The breakthrough came when I managed to get an email address with no numbers or extra letters for the name of one of my all-time favorite movies; “High Spirits.”

It’s an older movie, so I expect almost no one has seen it, and of the few who have, I suspect you might not remember it. Without exaggeration, this is one of the most accurate movies about Spirits I have ever seen.

Yes, it is a comedy. I mean, with Peter O’Toole and Steve Guttenberg I doubt there was any doubt in your minds about that. And still, a very realistic portrayal of Spirits. They are, for me at least, very much as they were in life. I don’tĀ see them, so I don’t see the disintegration of the body so much as depicted in this movie, although I’ve hears some psychics who claim to see them this way. I have the feeling for the movie, it was more of a costume decision than an attempt at realism, though.

Obviously, that’s about all my business has in common with this movie. But it was definitely the inspiration. I could see that some would assume it was “high” as in certain recreational and medicinal substances “high,” but that wasn’t part of my inspiration for the business at the time. It is one of my me-ness facets, though, as I do use that substance medicinally as I have peripheral neuropathy. It’s one of the few substances I have found that actually works for nerve pain and is an excellent substitute for the prescription medicine that would otherwise be my only other choice.

Not that kind of “high spirits”!

ThereĀ is a play on words here, though. Because in Spiritism I learned that praying for the SpiritsĀ enlightensĀ them. A word play that absolutely works better in English. As a polytheistic Spiritist, as opposed to the normal Catholic flavor, I don’t necessarily seeĀ prayer as the connection here, but I do believe that communicating, working with them, and caring for them does “raise” them in a way. It’s not as much a matter of getting into heaven as it is improving the life of their incarnation present with me in this time frame but also gives them something of an edge on the other side. The details are still a bit unclear, but it’s what I’ve been hearing lately.

Naturally, theĀ exact name of “High Spirits” was not available on Etsy. Which is fine. I don’t think I’d want it to be exact as then there could be potential conflict with the movie. As much as it is an inspiration for my business name, I did like the idea of setting myself apart. The obvious choice for me was to add “Divine.” More word play for the win!

Divine because for most of us, at least, the Spirits I am creating for are considered “Gods.” Whatever that is. šŸ˜‰Gods are, no matter their characteristics, the definition of “Divine.” A word play needs two different meanings at least, so let’s throw on there that I also useĀ divination to determine what to do for whom. Well, often I do at least. Sometimes it’s more of a known factor, and sometimes I have to whip out my pendulum and ask. I’m slowly becoming less dependent on the pendulum which is a big “YAY”. For a third part to this fun little word play,Ā divine with a lower-case d, as in my designs are “divine.” Beautiful, or at least I like to think so.

There’s part of the Origin Story for High Spirits Divine Jewelry & Sundries šŸ™‚. There’s more, of course, and I’ll get to it one of these days. In the meantime, I have some Dionysus products that I need to get out and some edits on Brigid I’m working on!

Honestly, these two are having a great time being difficult!

Do yourself a favor. If you haven’t watched High Spirits, give it a whirl. It’s on YouTube for free.

Business Anxiety Relief

Posted on by
Reply

I have the best customers in the world.

There are a lot of companies, businesses, and people out there who might say that, but I actually mean it. I wasĀ really scared about customers when I first started with Etsy. I know, I know, I shouldn’t have been. But youĀ hear things, you know? Horror stories of people trying to return things and claiming they’re broken or lost or whatever, just to get their money back.

That kind of thing can really hurt a small business. As a business of one, my business is about as small as it can get. I’m probably even more paranoid because I’ve already closed one business. That hurt. A lot. It was frightening going back into the deep end. Hell, it took me about 13-14 years to recover enough to think about it. So yeah, I was scared.

When I started in on POD, I was even scared-er. It’s a new world. I have no control, really, on quality control, something I’ve always been extremely proud of with my jewelry and other beaded pieces. I have toĀ trust that the company I’ve chosen is going to take care of my customers. YIKES. BIG YIKES!

As the holiday season began, and I actually had sales, I started to encounter problems. Not big ones, but still, problems. I was nervous and freaking out. A lot. My printers ran out of the mousepads I’m printing my pendulum pads on, the round ones, and of course I got an order for one. PANIC! I had no idea if they had simply run out of them, or if they were discontinuing them.

This just wouldn’t look the same if it were square!

Nervous beyond necessity, I messaged the printers first to try and find out if I was even going to be able to carry these things any more. Then, before it would be humanly possible for anyone to answer that question, I messaged the customer. I told them the situation, and a whole list of possible options. I could have it printed on a square mousepad, or we could upgrade it to either the wooden board or the leather one, but I couldn’t even get a preview of the leather one yet, so I had no IDEA what it would look like. Or we could wait, and see what the printers said.

My goodness, they were amazing. SO understanding, patient, and almost nonchalant about what seemed like a life-or-death situation to me! šŸ™‚To say I was relieved was an understatement.

That story, of course, ended exactly as you probably thought it would. They had simply run short, in a couple of days they had refilled the supply, and it was printed and speedily on the way to that WONDERFUL human. Phew.

I’ve mentioned I have anxiety, right?

There was a “horrible” misprint of a Hekate journal that another customer ended up with. By horrible, I mean it was mildly wrinkled on a corner, and part of the cover wasn’t properly printed all the way to the edge. That can happen. But, naturally, I freaked outĀ again. Another wonderful customer, though! They happily provided me with the photographic evidence I needed for the printer and BAM! Just like that it’s reprinted and flying on the way to them. Handled.

There was just a small, squished dent in one corner, but it was devastating to me!

WHY do I always panic?

Then, there are the customers who don’t know how wonderful, warm and fuzzy they’ve made me feel.

Every time one of the “patriarchy” variations sells, my heart sings. Every time I sell one overseas, even though the postage isĀ outrageous, I feel absolutely loved. The latest was a customer who was not only overseas, but bought a shirt in a multiple X size. As a person of extra girth myself, it wasĀ really important to me to find sizes that go as high as I could possibly get, so I’ve chosen a printer who, at least in most styles, offers up to 5x. I’m irritated as hell that they charge me so much more for the larger sizes, but if I start selling more and can spread out the loss, I won’t pass that on to the customer anymore. If. I hope to. šŸ’œ Knowing that someone purchased it, and appreciated it’s availability even though I had to charge more? Priceless.

Maybe someday I’ll stop panicking every time I run into a speedbump. With customers like this, I’m sure to. That and continuing my therapy!

Free to Worship or Not

Posted on by
Reply

My years in Christianity weren’t exactly a waste, for all that they were debilitating to my psyche, I did learn quite a bit. Some of that was definitely painful and hard to extract from my brain later in life, some of it was life-changing and highly influential on my future spiritual and magical life.

First and foremost, the Bible became one of my hyperfixations. Well before I knew what that was, I had begun reading books about “The Book.” You’ll hear zealous Christians constantly push reading the Bible, over and over again. Memorizing verses, reading obscure books out of it, and of course, believing the interpretation of whatever guru-type-pastor is in vogue today. If you’re the type that doesn’t passively read, if you’re the type of person who thinks and analyzes while reading as I am, this is a sure-fire way to read yourself back out of Christianity. Because that’s exactly what happened.

I’m not just fixated on Christianity, I’m fixated on religion, and on mythology as well. When I started analyzing the Flood, for example, and realized that comparative religion and mythology had many similar tales, the passive reader might expect that is because the story is true. An active reader? I realized that yes, there were many similar stories. And I realized several were older than the earliest written Judaic text mentioning the story. So logic would have the older story as the more likely original.

Ummmm…

If you’re wondering, this is still something I’m absolutely obsessed with, although I find it rotates regularly with other fixations now. As an adult, I don’t have quite as much time to devote to these studies of mine. I’ve added into the mix cults and what I’d call para-religions. I feel a kinship with people who have escaped cults, likely because of all they have in common with the Evangelical/Charismatic religion I’m a refugee of.

Oddly, as its something I had to wrestle with, I also felt the presence of a god for the first time.

You can imagine, I’m sure, this was a real bear to merge together. I threw out Christianity whole; baby and bathwater altogether. But at the same time, I had experiences that could not easily be dismissed.

In the tradition I was raised in, there were three positions taken by the acolytes. The crucifer who carried the cross, and then the others who each held a torch on either side of the cross and just behind for the procession and recession. What I began to understand quickly is that the person who is the crucifer is the focus of attention and energy from the congregation. And in ECUSA, as in other traditions, there’s a reverence that’s given as the procession passes. If you’re even remotely sensitive (at the time I was very closed off energetically, its really amazing anything got thru at all, that will tell you how much I’m talking about here), you can’t help but feel that energy. You’re a funnel, taking all that energy, and its going through you to its destination.

And yes, that destination is a Deity. Ironically, most Christians don’t have any idea of this at all.

I did, and I do. It gave me a great deal of difficulty as I threw the entire belief system out, and wrestled with all the condemnation that came with that belief system. I embraced several different versions of paganism one, after the other, and every single time had to wrestle with where “God” and “Christianity” fit into my life.

Santeria and Voodoo were the worst. Those born into those religions have no compunction at all about blending African spirits with the Christian God, Church, and all its trappings. They don’t even blink. It hurt me so horribly, I can’t even explain it. Its like trying to use an overnight bag when you’re going to be away from home for a month. It just didn’t fit.

Here, at this place in the story, is where my hyperfixation comes in handy.

There are a lot of gods actually written of in the Bible, most of which are buried under layers of culture and mythology. Two are closer to the surface than most; Elohim who is actually a pantheon of gods under a primary god named El (Get it??? Beth-El??? After you’ve seen it once, El is everywhere in the Bible…I love tying things together like that!), and of course Yahweh. Thing is, both these gods were Canaanite gods. Remember the Canaanites? The ones the Hebrews were instructed time and time again to steer clear of? Those same Canaanites is exactly where their primary god came from, a mix of El and Yahweh. Turns out the Hebrews very likely were Canaanites who split off and claimed this God as the god of their tribe.

El and Yahweh have little else in common, frankly. El is the wise, old, white-haired gentle father god, and Yahweh is the vindictive, cruel god of storms, lightning and punishment.

This is the moment I became an Omnist. I see it so clearly now that its ridiculous. There are indeed two different gods of the Bible, or at least there are two primary and active gods in our world today. There’s Yahweh, the god of Evangelicals and Conservatives who instructs hatred of the fellow man, cruelty, and war; and El, the god of peace, love, and understanding who we learn of through the Christ of the New Testament.

Now, saying that either of those gods are gods doesn’t mean that I am called to them, or have any need to worship them. I can recognize that they exist along side my own Spirits because two things (or more) can actually be true at the same time. I don’t need El or Yahweh, and they don’t need me. I belong elsewhere. That doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you that you don’t belong with one or both of them. That’s your business not mine, and I’d no sooner try to tell you who to worship than I would tell you who to have sex with or not, for that matter.

I am now free. Free to work with Spirits who are under the reign of Christ or El (I’ll keep away from Yahweh as much as I can, but thanks anyway) such as those Spirits of Voodoo or Ifa that I love, and not have to give up my pagan ways. I can follow new pagan and magical directions as my own Soul guides me because I do get instruction directly from my Spirits; and who am I to say that my Brigid is your Brigid? Perhaps she’s different, and then has different requests and needs?

That’s a whole other can of worms though. I’d best stop here or I’ll never stop tonight!

This blog post was written after I’d begun my evening “medication” (medical marijuana) please forgive any awkward phrasing or grammar, I will go back over it when I’m in a more sober state of mind. Expect editing!